Fredrik Backman
Läs Fredrik Backmans roligaste och allra bästa bloggposter. Här skrev Fredrik Backman sina roligaste texter under tiden han bloggade för Café.se.
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Det som händer i Vegas

Fredrik Backman
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Hotellreceptionist: Hello sir, do you need anything?

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Jag: Va?

Hotellreceptionist: Can we help you, sir?

Jag: Sure!

(Tystnad)

Hotellreceptionist: Yes. Sir?

Jag: What time is it here?

Hotellreceptionist: It’s 3 o’clock in the morning, sir.

Jag: Oh. Yes. I see.

Hotellreceptionist: Did you need anything, sir?

Jag: Coffee. Coffee would be great!

Hotellreceptionist: Of course, sir. You’ll find coffee in your roo…

Jag: Yes! I drank it. So now it is finished. Because I drank it.

Hotellreceptionist: Yes sir. I’ll see to it that we send some more up to your room straight away. What’s your room number?

Jag: I think it is 45 something.

Hotellreceptionist: Of course. What’s your last name, sir?

Jag: Backman.

Hotellreceptionist: (Trycker på dator) That would be room 4515, sir. I’ll send for the coffee.

Jag: Thanks.

(Tystnad)

Hotellreceptionist: Is there anything else we can do for you, sir?

Jag: Yes, the coffee is finished. I was building the Lego Chima lion warrior, you see. So I needed to be very focused. So I drank all the coffee.

Hotellreceptionist: I understand, sir.

Jag: (Visar lejonkrigaren från Lego Chima. Som jag har byggt.) This one. This is the Lego Chima lion warrior.

Hotellreceptionist: I understand, sir. I’ll send for some more coffee straight away. Is there anything else we can do for you?

Jag: It was very hard to build. It took a very long time. I bought it in Los Angeles for my son but my wife did not want us to build it in the car. So we built it tonight. But it took a very long time so everyone fell asleep. And now only I am awake. I and the lion warrior.

Hotellreceptionist: I understand sir.

Jag: It was very, very, very hard to build.

Hotellreceptionist: Of course, sir.

Jag: Do you know Lego Chima?

Hotellreceptionist: No sir.

Jag: It is very hard Lego.

Hotellreceptionist: Of course, sir.

Jag: So that is how it is. And there is no more coffee.

Hotellreceptionist: I’ll send for the coffee straight away, sir.

Jag: Thanks.

Hotellreceptionist: Anything else, sir?

Jag: Are there any Lego stores open around here now?

Hotellreceptionist: Sorry sir, but probably not. It’s 3 o’clock in the morning.

Jag: In Sweden it is 11. It is almost lunch there. In Sweden you can buy Lego right now if you want to.

Hotellreceptionist: That’s great sir.

Jag: How much coffee is in the room? You know. From the beginning?

Hotellreceptionist: Quite a lot, sir.

Jag: I am from Sweden. That is why I know the time in Sweden. I am not weird.

Hotellreceptionist: Of course not, sir.

Jag: I also still have jet lag and my wife says it makes me weird.

Hotellreceptionist: No problem, sir.

Jag: You will send the coffee to my room?

Hotellreceptionist: Of course, sir.

Jag: Maybe I will drink it tomorrow.

Hotellreceptionist: Perhaps that would be a good idea, sir.

(Tystnad)

Jag: (Går runt med Lego Chima-lejonkrigaren en smula på receptionsdisken) Thanks for your help.

Hotellreceptionist: No problem, sir.

Jag: Yes.

Hotellreceptionist: (Nickar uppmuntrande åt Lego Chima-lejonkrigaren) It’s a very nice Lego lion, sir.

Jag: It is a Lego Chima lion warrior. It is for my son. Very hard to build.

Hotellreceptionist: It looks very advanced, sir.

Jag: Do you know how when you build something you want to show it to someone?

Hotellreceptionist: Of course, sir.

Jag: That is how I feel. But my family is sleeping. So I am sorry to bother you. You have been very patient.

Hotellreceptionist: Sure, sir. Right.

Jag: Very hard Lego.

Hotellreceptionist: I bet, sir.

(Ganska lång tystnad. Möjligen på gränsen till obekväm längd.)

Hotellreceptionist: So how are you liking your Las Vegas vacation so far, sir?

Jag: Great. Great. Great.

(Tystnad)

Jag: Great.

(Tystnad)

Jag: Can you check what room number I have?


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